Everything Happens For A Reason
Just like all of you, I wear many hats and carry a few titles that are very different, but all serve the same purpose – others. I’m wife to the most incredible man I could have never dreamed up. I’m mom to three wild, crazy and beyond gifted children. I’m an executive in the corporate world, leading all client-interfacing departments for a mid-sized marketing technology company, and the only female of a nine-person executive team. I’m an entrepreneur of two businesses – a leadership and business strategy consultancy and a partnership with my husband in building custom homes. And, alongside my amazing husband, we co-pastor one of the campuses for the local church that we belong to where we literally and figuratively, get a front row seat to the life change that God is working
So what’s it like? Complete and utter chaos! But, it’s insanely beautiful and I wouldn’t change a thing. I’ve embraced the fact that what I do – in all facets – is not in any shape or form for the benefit of me. It’s all about those I get the honor and pleasure of serving. I didn’t always see it that way, but since I have, the outcome each time has a multiplicative effect that far exceeds my own ability – powerful!
I once was asked the proverbial question, “How do you do it all?” And my first response was laughter – I must have them fooled! They obviously don’t see what mornings look like around my house as I wrestle a toddler to get her dressed, argue with another daughter about not wearing her Christmas dress and high heels to preschool and insist that my son wears more than a long-sleeved shirt and shorts in 30-degree weather. And that’s just the clothing battles before 7 am!
Then I answered this way. “The reality is, I don’t do it all, but it all gets done.” And I wanted to share with you that for me, there are a few things that are critical and quite frankly, non negotiable in helping me with all the things.
- Enlist Help: To start, I enlist help. I’ve learned to outsource what is not absolutely crucial that I do myself and, in many cases, someone else could do better! For instance, my husband and I love to host events at our house, but I am a terrible chef. Instead of trying to be what I’m not, I enlist the gifts and talents of a good friend of mine who is a private chef. He will plan, grocery shop, prepare, cook and even serve the food while I’m hosting and caring for my guests. That allows me to stay in my sweet spot with people, without sacrificing the intimacy of an event in my home or serving anything less than the best for my guests. Whatever that is for you, I strongly encourage you to evaluate what’s on your plate that could be tackled by someone else and achieve the same, if not better result!
- Remember what’s important: I’m a planner and if I had it my way, I would always work my plan until completion. But let’s be honest, my list is not always what’s important right now. And for me, that’s a filter I’ve learned to apply to help me prioritize competing tasks. There have been times where I was in the middle of a major proposal for a client that was on deadline and I was in my zone – work was flowing, and I was cranking through! At that very moment, one of my kiddos needed me; something that could otherwise have been viewed as insignificant, but to them, it was everything. I asked myself the question and it was a no-brainer; their needs came first. Don’t get me wrong, the proposal got done and on time, I just had to work a little later that night after the kiddos went to bed to bring it over the finish line. Well worth it!
- Don’t let negativity take root: Of course, I’m human and there are times that “all the things” feel like more than I can handle and the weight of the world rests solely on my shoulders. Just like most people, I have moments of pity partying, self-doubt, fear and anxiety. But, I don’t allow those moments to take root. They merely pass through without permanent occupancy in my mind as I intentionally usher them on. And that’s key for me. My thoughts have to pass through a filter of my beliefs. Whatever doesn’t align is figuratively captured, rebuffed and replaced with what I know to be true. Easy in concept, difficult in practice, but now that I’ve trained myself in this behavior, it comes naturally.
I imagine that you also have practices and approaches that help you with all the things – please share them here! I’d love to learn from you and I know the rest of the More Than Me community would benefit also.